“Fairy tale in reverse.” A personal story
In these articles, I routinely tell you anonymized stories of clients of mine.
This time, I’m going to tell you a story of my own.
In my client stories, the divorcing woman is typically the out-spouse, financially. That’s why they—and their attorneys—come to me. I’m a CPA, a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER® professional, and a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® professional.
But in this story—my story—I was the bread-winner. This story begins a long time ago, actually around 2003. That’s when I met a guy and started dating him. We dated for three and a half years, and then we married.
Wanting to do things properly, we didn’t live together before we married. Put a pin in that fact; it will come back later.
So. This romance had all the makings of what I’d liked to think of as a “reverse fairy tale.” I was working at a wealth-management firm at the time and building my career. My boyfriend (and soon-to-be husband) was training to be a mortgage lender. But he wanted to support my career and agreed that, when we married, he would stay home and take care of the house.
It seemed very sweet. Along with many of the other things he did. A longtime smoker, he promised to give up cigarettes in order to marry me. He was working hard at his new career. And—sweetest of all—he gave me a pearl necklace, an actual heirloom that had been handed down in his family! I was pretty swept off my feet.
A new chapter
After we married, he moved in with me. And things immediately seemed odd. Why did he need to suddenly run out for unusual errands? Why did his answers to my questions not add up? Why would he always insist in riding in my car, as opposed to my ever setting foot in his?
One day, I had to move his car out of the driveway. Climbing inside, I moved his laptop bag out of my way… and out spilled a stack of dunning letters from debt collectors. The car’s ashtray was overflowing with cigarette butts. And—crusher—there on the floor was the 2nd half of a two-part set of cheap fake pearl necklaces… so much for the “family heirloom” story.
We’d dated for 3.5 years. Yet after just one month of marriage, we were in counseling. Which he didn’t like: it forced him to face up to responsibilities he didn’t want to face. So you won’t be shocked to learn that, shortly thereafter, I came home one day from work to find that he’d cleared out. He took the furniture. He took the dogs. He left his ring on the counter. He didn’t even leave a note.
The next month—this was November, 2008—the financial crisis cratered the wealth-management firm where I worked, and I got laid off.
I started my business—this business, where I help divorcing women and the attorneys who serve them—just two months later, in January, 2009. So in that regard, the fairy tale eventually came true.
Let me bring my unique combination of experience and expertise to your next divorce case. Contact me and let’s talk.
